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24 June 2008

The Creative Breakdown: A Week in the Life Of


So I'm on holiday, and i can tell you that it's about time too.

The last few weeks (it was heading towards months actually) have been ridiculous.
Every night has been a late night, every morning an early morning, and with really only one day a week off to catch my breath. Granted, some might argue that the weekend is two days long, but those people are stupid.

Here's a breakdown of a week in the life of a creative:

  • Monday: Just make it to work on time. Growl disagreeably at co-workers for six to eight hours before going home, then spend the rest of the night preparing the work for Tuesday that should have been done six to eight hours ago.
  • Tuesday: Throw out everything you did on Monday night and start again. Work studiously throughout the day and try to leave a little early so that you can beat traffic, relax a bit and sort out your head-space for the rest of the week.
  • Wednesday: Quickly realise that your few moments of valuable mental detox the day before have cost you valuable hours and that the presentation that you are supposed to make hasn't progressed much beyond the black-line marker scamp scratched between dozens of other "inspirational" doodles that you knew weren't going to work but which you spend hours drawing anyway because you were taught that it stimulates the "creative process". Smoke too much (optional). Drink incalculable amounts of coffee (non-optional). Get home late with more work than you started the day with. Work through the night and early morning, repeatedly cursing the fact that there's no beer in the fridge. Detox is forgotten under a barrage of caffine and nicotine.
  • Thursday: Arrive late for work, not having slept. An aggressive sense of doom permiates you mood. You hate the world, your work and your alarm clock. You can't imagine how you're going to get everything done in the next twenty-four hours. You don't leave you desk for the next nine hours except to answer nature's incessant prodding. You go home miserable. By midnight, however, most of your problems seemed to have worked themselves out. The work looks suitably profesional and it begins to look like all your hard work and stress have paid off. You risk loosing a bit more sleep in order to check for and sort out any final layout problems. You go to bed confident that, even if a few little things go wrong, you should have no problem at all getting them sorted out before deadline.
  • Friday: Everything goes wrong. Most likely you have woken up late. You have just had a small error pointed out to you that you would never have noticed but which apparently glares like a shining becon to everyone else. Normally it would have taken only minutes to fix, but in your overconfidence the night before and unaware of the effects that several days of lost sleep and your quickly growing coffee addiction have had on you, you command-S saved over you original file. You attempt to cram a day's worth of work into a few hours. Halfway through this you experience a moment of clarity wherein you realise that your idea is rubbish and that you should have stuck with the one you tossed out on Tuesday. You sneek into deadline with only moments to spare, swearing blind that you're happy with the work when in actual fact you believe that a quadraplegic chimpanzee with a dyslexic catfish sitting by it's side could have done better. You stop at the pub in order to miss traffic on the way home.
  • Saturday: You arrive home sometime around sunrise, successfully having missed traffic. You climb into bed and sleep untill late afternoon, then watch movies from a horizontal possition on the couch while thinking of excuses why you can't meet your friends out tonight. For reasons unexplainable you still don't get to bed before one-thirty AM.
  • Sunday: You try and enjoy your morning as much as possible. Maybe you stand in the sun for a few minutes. Then you drink a mug of coffee and begin prepairing for Monday, wishing that you had a longer weekend.

And that pretty much sums it up. But i'm out! (at least for a few weeks)

As it is, I doubt that I'm gonna get many chances to post stuff. I'll be flying off to Mauritius in a week or so for a familiy holiday, so it'll be complately dead over that time. I'm sure you can imagine how disapointed I am...
I'll post when I post. Hell, maybe I'll be totally lame and put up some pictures - but I wouldn't hold my breath.

18 June 2008

A Chamber of One - a little preview

Okay, so the novel is back on the table - sort of. I realised that, after so much time, there's so much of my own story that I'm no longer sure of myself that jumping straight back into it was impossible without risking leaving some gigantic hole. Now, trying to edit 150 pages off a computers screen is too horrible to think of, and lugging around a ring-binder file everywhere I go so that I can grab a bit of editing here and there is ridiculously impractical (seriously - experience talking. Don't even try it.) I considered my predicament and thought that the best way to get the show on the road was to try and insert it into my routine, a greater portion of which is constantly being on the look-out for opportunities when I can bounce out of work for a little read by myself. I can put away a stranger's novel in a few days in this fashion, surely I can put a dent in my own? The only thing I was lacking was the necessary format... So guess what? I am now in the possession of a printed and bound copy of my own novel (part 1). It was a surprisingly cool sensation. I expected it would be a bit of a gas, but when the printer handed me a fully printed and bound copy of my own work, the strangest thing happened: I felt like a real author. Crazy, I know. It just looked so much like a book - like something you'd pick up off the selves at Exclusive Books or Fogarty's - that it was hard not to feel exceedingly chuffed. I couldn't wait for someone to ask me what I was reading, just so that I could flip them the cover and reply; "Oh, nothing really." Hasn't happened yet, but there's still time... So here's the cover and a little excerpt from the first half of my book; A Chamber of One. The text has been unedited so far, so there are probably a few spelling mistakes, and there's a good chance that some of the text might be changed before it's done (I haven't gotten this far into the editing yet) but hey, enough people have read it so far that I'm not overly concerned. Think of this as similar to when bands release rough, preview tracks online. The final result will be more streamlined and refined. But until then...
(An excerpt from Chapter 2 - Friday: Dreams and Monsters)

Rebecca shifted uncomfortably in her sleep. Back and forth she turned as she tried to escape a troubling dream that would soon be lost from her memory for ever. She was trapped in a world of shifting shadows and darkness where there really were monsters in your closet. It didn’t matter that you knew that the black shapes drifting just beyond the cracked open door were nothing more than hung clothes, strung up jackets and pants, because it wasn’t the clothes that you had to worry about. No, what you really had to worry about were the shapes themselves, the dark silhouettes of your wardrobe, because, in the dark, these shadows grew. They joined and blended, wrapped together and grew tooth and claw. And then, as you slept, the cupboard door would creek open and the dark would step into your room. A thing begot of the darkness of everything normal and safe in your world; monstrous and foreign in its entirety.

Rebecca heard the door creek. Her eyes and mouth sprang open as she sucked in a lungful of predawn darkness. The hair beside her ears and high up on her neck bristled as her skin contracted and her heart pounded in her skull. She nearly panicked when all that met her was a muddled blur of black and gray. Her eyes darted back and forth in search of something recognizable in the sleep addled mess around her, but slowly, as reality began to assert its self, her room began to swim into focus.

She tried to force herself to relax. She lay in her bed and concentrated on slowing her breathing. She hoped that she hadn’t cried out in her sleep and woken anyone.

What a dream, she thought even as the images faded from her memory. She blinked sleep out of her eyes and thought to herself how difficult it was going to be to nod off again after such a humdinger of a nightmare. She groaned silently to herself. Shit, she thought, it’s not even light out yet.

She rolled onto her side to reach for the glass of water beside her bed. Or she tried to. All that shifted towards the bedside table were her eyes. Panic once again began to well up in Rebecca’s breast. What’s happening? she cried inside her own head as she desperately tried to move her paralyzed arms and legs, but the duvet had her trapped. It wrapped around her legs and torso, had managed to slither around her arms, and even its cover had seemed to snake its way between her fingers. And, as she lay there, her body bound and nothing but her head sticking out from beneath the covers, Rebecca was sure that she could feel them pulling tighter.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, she whimpered to herself, but not a sound escaped her lips, Something is not right. Oh god, something is going terribly wrong. And as she stared at the room around her – as the covers pulled tighter and as the fabric pulled harder and harder against her throat, her breath beginning to come in short, sharp gasps – she began to see that something was indeed terribly wrong. This wasn’t her room. It looked like it, but it wasn’t. Everything was similar, but certain things just weren’t quite right. Her dresser looked too short, almost stumpy, as if it had been stunted somehow and her chest of drawers seemed constructed at impossible angels; its mere existence as a standing, solid object seeming to buck all natural laws. And everything was too gray. The ceiling, the walls, the stuffed animals on her shelves – all of which seemed turned in her direction, their small, black, plastic eyes staring at her deadly and their fur all matted and dirty as if they’d dug their way out from deep in the earth, paw-full by paw-full out of their graves – everything was tinged with the dull gray of the indescribable; the corpse.

And then something moved.

Rebecca’s eyes shot to the door, her breath short and rasping. What was that? A slight, gray aura of light shone around the door, turning it into a dark silhouette; a pitch-black portal, a door in a door. The light that slanted out struck the toys on her shelf, bringing them to monstrous life. Wicked eyes danced in an evil light and fur writhed over moulding stuffing. As the light moved the shadow grew and with it grew teeth and talons. Small stitched mouths began to widen and split and furry lips squirmed as needle fangs grew from stuffing gums. Rebecca could swear that she heard the soft pop, fwip, pop, fwip of threads breaking and unthreading in the dark and oh god the faces were moving; crawling over newly formed bone and stretching and pulling the eyes wider until she could see pink. Oh god almighty she could see pink around those tiny black orbs and they were moist; wet and gungy and dancing in the moving light and why was the light moving?

Rebecca’s eyes flew back to the door. She couldn’t help it. They were as much under her control by now as the rest of her petrified body. Sweat ran down her face and back, burning her eyes and soaking the creeping blankets so that they clung to her like a second, malformed skin. Her neck felt raw as the fabric rubbed against it and her chest burned from her sharp, desperate breaths. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her nose had begun to run and as the mucus slid down her throat she felt the need to cough, to cough and scream, but she could do neither. She heard the door creak again.

There’s no one there. The door hasn’t moved. It’s still closed. There’s no one here to open it. I know there isn’t. There can’t be! Oh god let it be closed!

But it wasn’t. It stood wide. Oh so very wide. And into its light stepped a figure so immense that it blocked out the dull luminescence of what ever was beyond the frame. For a moment it paused and then it raised one giant foot and stepped into the room. Slowly it moved towards the foot of her bed and with every step a sickening, rasping noise could be heard, like a blade cutting through thick carpet. And as it moved forward, one arm held behind it, the darkness behind it grew thicker. A skittering sound could be heard from inside of it. Shapes moved, and Rebecca knew that the creatures were climbing off their shelves and skittering down the walls – her toys, her presents, her tormentors – and hiding just beyond the light.

This can’t be happening, she thought as the monstrous silhouette came to a stand by her feet. This is not real and I am dreaming. I’m dreaming and I have to wake up! The thing’s arm came around from behind it and gripped in its hand was a shape long and flat and with an edge at its end that glistened sharply in the light. You have to wake up. You have to wake up now. Please let me open my eyes. Please let this all vanish. Sweat covered her face and ran into her mouth, its salty taste sitting like blood on a tongue that had gone dry. Every muscle in her body was pulled taught. Her neck was as stiff as a tree trunk. Her jaws were clenched with her lips pulled back in a sneer and she knew that she was going to die. The figure lifted its other hand to grip the handle of its weapon. She had stopped breathing entirely. Wake up! she said, Wake up, wake up, wake up! Her eyes bulged as they desperately tried to open. Everything told them that they already were but still they tried. They burned as Rebecca frantically pushed to see through the horror that was happening before her.

“Rebecca,” said the monster. And then she woke up.

It wasn’t as though anything changed, really. Everything still seemed to be in the same place. But everything seemed back to normal. And she could breathe again. Her toys were back on the self and her furniture looked the way that it always did. Even the light seemed better – more real and vital, with a volume that had been missing in that dark place, even though it shone in from the passage, dulled by the half open door. She didn’t even think that she had opened her eyes, but rather that they had been open the whole time with her unable to see through them. When the change had come, it was as though reality had simply drifted into the dream, erasing everything that shouldn’t have been there – everything but one, and for that she was no less terrified.

The figure still loomed above her, both arms still twisted and taught up above its right shoulder.

“Rebecca,” it said again, and this time she recognised what was held in its hands high up above its head, its sharpened edge almost touching the ceiling. It was the garden spade; the great, black Lasher spade that hung in the shed out back in the garden and that her dad had sharpened weekly until he had hired someone else to do it for him.

“Coleman?” she replied with her first breath. Her lips quivered out of her control, making his name bounce with staccatoed hiccups. She sucked in with her nose and whimpered, confused and terrified. But I woke up…

“You’ve been dreaming, little Rebecca,” said the giant gardener, “You’ve been dreaming for a very long time.” Rebecca heard the squeaking sound of skin on wood as Coleman tightened his grip on the handle. “But you’ve dreamed enough now and you need to wake up. You thought you were, but you weren’t. And now you must. You must wake up.” The giant flat of the spade inched higher until the point of its edge touched the ceiling.

“This isn’t real,” said Rebecca.

“Wake up, Rebecca,” said the giant.

The blade fell. Rebecca screamed. And the window beside her bed exploded inwards as a part of the night leapt into her room.

( © All work is the exclusive work of the author and subject to copywrite laws.)

11 June 2008

Lectcha Sketch #8

A good long time has passed since my last post; lots of time to think, observe and consider the things that are going on around us and to try and come up with intelligent, communicable opinions and suggestions that I can impart, served up with some prime-cut cynicism and a ladle full of bias and belligerency. Yeah, I got nothing. I've been living in a hole for the last ten days (almost a joke - my room is only about 2.5 x 3 metres). If I mentioned how busy I was earlier then multiply it ten-fold and put a gun to my head. So instead of a glowing nugget of perception, I'll just leave you with the next Lectha Sketch. Maybe I'll offend someone - at least then I'll have accomplished something today. P.S. Trivium - good band. Just putting it out there...
Even MORE fun at Brett's funeral!!!

01 June 2008

It's not all Bad...

I'm feeling that, with all these xenophobia related posts, this blog might be getting a little negative (hilarious comics aside ;) ). I think that I'm gonna try and find something a little more positive to post about next time. We may be going through some rough times, but not everything is in the crapper. Anyway, I'll get back to you on that...

"It's not my problem" - Xenophobia and our government

It's been a while since my last post, but life's been hectic lately and I'm sure that you'll get over it. These are some photos of protest graffiti that has begun popping up around Cape Town. These shots are from a wall near Orange Street and were shot early last week. This is both good and bad, in my opinion. I appreciated how graffiti can be used as a potent and successful protest medium, but unfortunately it also tends to become heavily biased and misleading, as it is in these examples. Although I don't dispute that the impetus behind this work may have been driven by the best of intentions, it has been executed thoughtlessly and, as a consequence, has become an inflammatory gesture itself rather than an intelligent and provoking act of protest. Perhaps it's just me, but I don't feel that portraying all ANC members as trigger-happy, xenophobic monkeys is the best way to go about solving the explosive racial situation that we are facing in our country at the moment. The violent xenophobic acts are not being perpetrated by the ANC. They are acts fueled by fear, anxiety and misunderstanding being perpetrated by the underprivileged and often uneducated. They are people who feel that they have come up against a brink wall - that they have been let down by their country and government - and have been left with little or no other option but to lash out. Unfortunately, as is often the case in such situations, theses violent actions become directed towards those that are perceived as different or "alien". That is not to say that the ANC government shouldn't be held accountable for the event that have gone amiss. Mis-governance, an ignorance towards the needs of their country's people and what amounts to a policy of non-accountability have all fueled the events that have taken place. It came to light last week that the government was aware of the quickly growing xenophobic problems as long as three years ago and yet, as is more often than not the case, did nothing. The inaction of our ruling peoples make them at least partially accountable for the violence of the past few weeks. One might imagine though that now, with previous errors make evident and the need for carefully orchestrated efforts to quell this violence peacefully more dire than ever, the government might decide to pull up it's sock and get it's head in the ring. But nay, 'tis not to be. Rather than working to solve this problem, our esteemed heads of state are still arguing over who's responsibility it is to solve this problem. Our Minister of Home Affairs - the person being most leant on to try and "fix" this situation - has stated that: "It's not [her] problem." As if anything of this magnitude can be dropped at the feet of any one person. It strikes me as absurd that, even in the midst of this trouble, people are still squabbling to save face rather than working together to try and solve the crisis. It almost seems as though the prospect of actually having to do their job for a change is so alien that they would put more effort into passing the buck - risk the deaths of more innocent people - than admit to the people of their country that they have no idea what they're doing. At least we are now being spared the claims that this was all the work of a mysterious and malicious third party (well, mostly - our good ol' Minister of HA seems reluctant to put down her guns, still adamant that this is all the work of some malevolent, shadowy enemy-in-hiding, but this sort of nonsense is something that w are becoming accustomed to in our ruling "elite") and it seems less likely that a wave of imperialist dogs are going to sweep over our country at any second. What is distressing though is how many local businessmen (and women , I assume) are trying to use this violence to their advantage. There are numerous stories of local business owners collecting and arming groups of people and setting them loose on foreign owned stores in an attempt to eradicate the competition while having it blamed on xenophobic violence.

One must wonder whether this is going to get much worse before it gets any better. All we can really hope is that, sometime in the near future, someone is eventually going to do the right thing. So many people and businesses have lent themselves to aid the plight of those affected and displaced by the violence, but until we get some solid, honest action by the government, I fear that the battle to correct the upsetting course that our country has taken will be hard and unrewarding.

Let’s try and forget about laying blame for a moment and work towards lending our help to those really need it.

We can argue about whose fault it is later.

Oh well, I've ranted myself out. Studies demand that I sign off now, but I still have a little to say on the subject and will probably find more as the events progress, so pop around some other time and I'll be happy to bludgeon you a little more with my waffle. Peace and microphones.